# Highly Recommended《Bran-New Hardcover + Success Also Depends On Right Kind Of Relationship In Public Victory》THE POWER OF THE OTHER : The Startling Effect Other People Have on You, from the Boardroom to the Bedroom and Beyond-and What to Do about It
This Wallstreet Journal and New York Times bestseller in hardcover edition is a bran-new book and still wrapped with new-book plastic wrapper. The original new book is sold at usual price RM120.50 (Hardcover). Now here Only at RM35. An expert on the psychology of leadership and the bestselling author of Integrity, Necessary Endings, and Boundaries For Leaders identifies the critical ingredient for personal and professional wellbeing. Most leadership coaching focuses on helping leaders build their skills and knowledge and close performance gaps. These are necessary, but not sufficient. Using evidence from neuroscience and his work with leaders, Dr. Henry Cloud shows that the best performers draw on another vital resource: personal and professional relationships that fuel growth and help them surpass current limits. In fact, as Dr. Henry Cloud argues in The Power of the Other, success depends on relationship. “The undeniable reality,” he writes, “is that how well you do in life and in business depends not only on what you do and how you do it, your skills and competencies, but also on who is doing it with you or to you” (emphasis in original). But not just any relationship! What leaders need is “specific qualitiative relational connectedness” (emphasis in original). This is what Cloud calls “True Connection” or “Corner Four relationship.” Popular wisdom suggests that we should not allow others to have power over us, but the reality is that they do, for better or for worse. Consider the boss who diminishes you through cutting remarks versus one who challenges you to get better. Or the colleague who always seeks the limelight versus the one who gives you the confidence to finish a difficult project. Or the spouse who is honest and supportive versus the one who resents your success. No matter how talented, intelligent, or experienced, the greatest leaders share one commonality: the power of the others in their lives. Combining engaging case studies, persuasive findings from cutting-edge brain research, and examples from his consulting practice, Dr. Cloud argues that whether you’re a Navy SEAL or a corporate executive, outstanding performance depends on having the right kind of connections to fuel personal growth and minimize toxic associations and their effects. Presenting a dynamic model of the impact these different kinds of connections produce, Dr. Cloud shows readers how to get more from themselves by drawing on the strength and expertise of others. You don’t have a choice whether or not others have power in your life, but you can choose what kinds of relationships you want. Dr Cloud starts off this book with a powerful story. One man is near completion of his "SEAL training. However, he's in danger of failing one test; he's about ready to give up. But first, he sees a fellow SEAL, standing on shore. His comrade gives him "a huge fist pump and yell." At this point, "Something happened. Something beyond him. His body jumped into another gear, into another dimension of performance that he had not had access to before." The man went on to complete the SEAL course. This powerful effect is what Dr. Cloud calls the "Power of the Other." Here is the point Dr. Cloud is making: The action that another person takes has PROFOUND impact on us. It's not just some sentimental feeling--it's a REAL impact. As an example, the author notes how oftentimes one person at work, say a boss, can destroy the culture of a team. On the other hand, sometimes just interacting with a single person can upright a disastrous situation. So, other have incredible power to influence you; the question, how will you deal with this? "How you manger this power is the difference between winning and losing." And, "Relationship affects life and performance. Period." Most "success" or performance books are all focused on what YOU can accomplish; not much emphasis is on the impact of others. The author points out that this is a huge blunder: "Performance is either improved or dimished by the other people in your scenario." The doctor explains that it's the QUALITY of relationships that matter. He homes in on those close relationships he calls "Corner 4." These are deep, trusting relationships with others. A real connection is "One is which you can be your whole self the real, authentic you, a relationship to which you can bring your heart, mind, soul, and passion." Dr. Cloud relates an experience in his own life, facing business failure, when he tapped into one of his close connections. The doctor was soon energized, both physically and mentally by this connection. In Corner One relationships, leaders feel “disconnected.” He writes: “True connection always means being emotionally and functionally invested in other people, in a give-and-receive dynamic. Disconnection lacks something, in one direction or the other—either in the giving or the receiving. Truly connected people do both. They are emotionally present and able to give and to receive.” In Corner Two relationships, leaders have “a bad connection.” They experience a “connection, preoccupation, or pull toward a person who has the effect of making you feel bad or ‘not good enough’ in some way” (emphasis in original). Think of a son trying to gain the respect of a hypercritical dad or an employee trying to please a boss who rarely praises employees. In Corner Three relationships, leaders form a “seductively false ‘good connection.’” In this corner, leaders gravitate toward relationships that make them feel good. They cultivate people who flatter and praise them but overlook people in the organization who bear bad news. People in high-stress jobs who live in Corner Three often find themselves engaging in extramarital affairs or using addictive substances to maintain an artificial “high.” None of these corners is a good place to be. Leaders need to go to Corner Four. Here, leaders form a “real connection” with others, “one in which you can be your whole self, the real, authentic you, a relationship to which you can bring your heart, mind, soul, and passion. Both parties to the relationship are wholly present, known, understood, and mutually invested. What each truly thinks, feels, believes, fears, and needs can be shared safely.” In contemporary parlance, authenticity is often interpreted in non-relational terms. “I gotta be me!” people exclaim. The problem is that this understanding of authenticity is individualistic, not relational. “I gotta be me” is often used to slough off or criticize the counsel others are trying to give us. That’s not what Corner Four looks like. Instead, Cloud identifies eight characteristics of Corner Four relationships. True connection: ● fuels, ● gives freedom, ● requires responsibility, ● defangs failure, ● challenges and pushes, ● builds structure, ● unites instead of divides, ● and is trustworthy. When we truly connect with others, they help us draw out the full potential of who we really are and what we can truly be. Relationship makes authenticity possible. Getting extra energy from these bonds is real--it's not just some good feeling: "We can feel how our physical and mental energy shifts when we form a connection with someone." All in all, readers found THE POWER OF THE OTHER to be a wonderful book, full of important ideas. This is not a simple book to apprehend; plan to spend some time aborbing these ideas--they are important. About Author Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist, and New York Times bestselling author whose books have sold over 10 million copies. In 2014, Success magazine named Dr. Cloud one of the top 25 most influential leaders in personal growth and development. He graduated from Southern Methodist University with a BS in psychology and completed his PhD in clinical psychology at Biola University.
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