# Highly Recommended《New Book Condition + Hardcover Edition + Embracing Mistakes Can Make You Smarter, Healthier, And Happier in Every Facet Of Our Lives》Alina Tugend - BETTER BY MISTAKE : The Unexpected Benefits Of Being Wrong
This New York Times bestseller in hardcover edition is a bran-new book and nicely wrapped with protective book-wrapper. The original new book is sold at usual price RM101.14 (Hardcover). Now here Only at RM24. ★★ Skipping this book would be a mistake! ★★ If to err is human, then why do we have such difficulties in accepting our own—and others’—mistakes? That’s exactly the question that journalist Alina Tugend tackles in this unmistakingly worthwhile book. New York Times columnist Alina Tugend delivers an eye-opening big idea: Embracing mistakes can make us smarter, healthier, and happier in every facet of our lives. In this persuasive book, journalist Alina Tugend examines the delicate tension between what we’re told—we must make mistakes in order to learn—and the reality—we often get punished for them. She shows us that mistakes are everywhere, and when we acknowledge and identify them correctly, we can improve not only ourselves, but our families, our work, and the world around us as well. Bold and dynamic, insightful and provocative, Better by Mistake turns our cultural wisdom on its head to illustrate the downside of striving for perfection and the rewards of acknowledging and accepting mistakes and embracing the imperfection in all of us. She seeks to: “explore the tension between the fact we’re taught when young that we learn from mistakes, but the reality is that most of us hate and dread them…to find out what creates that tension, and how we can return to and internalize the lesson from kindergarten—that mistakes help us because we learn from them.” (p. 248) Beginning with two universal truths—people are not perfect and mistakes happen—the author first defines her subject as separate from "error" and in consideration of its outcome (mistakes have led to countless scientific advances, for instance). Tugend investigates the fear of failure and shame of messing up that pervade American society (though we're not alone); unsurprisingly, the fear starts early and is reinforced often. One of Tugend's recurring themes is that we not only can, but should learn from our mistakes, and chapters discuss major errors from Wall Street, the field of aviation, and the hospital floor, including a famous case of the wrong limb being amputated. These case studies put into perspective our daily errors and illustrate the progress being made in mistake prediction and reduction. And the distinction between "person approach" and "system approach," posited by James Reason in Human Error, is also addressed. While Tugend's study of gender differences in this arena seems to circle the issue without landing anywhere truly interesting, her analysis of saying "I'm sorry" is highly illuminating. Ultimately Tugend succeeds, by stripping mistakes of their power to intimidate and effectively redefining them into malleable, manageable learning tools. A look at the table of contents shows the map of her mistake-exploring quest: ● Chapter 1: (Mis)Understanding and (Re) Defining Mistakes—What is a mistake? ● Chapter 2: It Starts Early—How our children learn from blunders ● Chapter 3: “Fail Often, Fast, and Cheap”—Mistakes in the workplace ● Chapter 4: It’s Not Brain Surgery…But What If It Is?—Learning from medicine ● Chapter 5:Lessons from the Cockpit—Aviation’s approach to errors ● Chapter 6: Blaming You, Blaming Me—Men, Women, and Mistakes ● Chapter 7: You Say Mistake, I Say Lesson—Different Cultures, Different Approaches ● Chapter 8: I Want to Apologize—Saying “I’m sorry” Making the shift from having a fearful vs. accepting view of mistakes entails “delving deeply into why and how we react to errors, [so] we can learn to acknowledge mistakes without foisting the blame onto others or beating ourselves up.” The essential steps to making this shift include: ➽ redefining our view of mistakes, ➽ emphasizing effort and deemphasizing results, ➽ moving from scapegoating the individual’s blatant errors to correcting the system’s latent ones, ➽ taking personal accountability for our own mistakes and using them as opportunities for improvement and growth, ➽ favoring non-judgmental error exploration over superficial hindsight bias, ➽ communicating clearly (which requires creating environments where open and honest communication is nurtured and encouraged), ➽ effectively employing observation and feedback, ➽ understanding different gender and cultural attitudes and perspectives towards mistakes, ➽ and being the kind of people who can recognize mistakes and genuinely—and appropriately—apologize and accept an apology when mistakes are made. As the author so perfectly summarizes: “If we can all forgive ours and others’ errors more often, if we can acknowledge that perfection is a myth and that human beings screw up on a regular basis—and we can either simply feel bad about it and find someone to accuse or to learn from it—then we are on the right track. Make no mistake about it.” (p. 252) Therefore, the only mistake you can make with this book is not reading it! ---------------------------------------------- Amazon.com Review Alina Tugend on Better by Mistake I wrote Better by Mistake to explore an ongoing tension: We’re taught when we’re young that we learn from mistakes, but the reality is that most of us hate and dread them. A friend of mine loves to tell the anecdote of driving her son home from kindergarten and asking what he learned. “Nothing,” he said. “Nothing?” she asked. “You didn’t learn a single thing?” “No,” he replied. “My teacher said you learn by making mistakes, and I didn’t make any today.” Imagine if that attitude survived throughout our lives. If, when we thought about how our day went, we didn’t regret our mistakes, but proudly thought about those we had made and what we had drawn from them. It takes work—but we can try to recapture that philosophy. Through research and interviews, I found that there are ways all of us can shift our thinking about mistakes. And in doing so, we’ll learn how to leave behind the defensiveness and accusations that too often accompany errors and experiences of failure. We can be more willing to embrace risks and work creatively. We can feel good about the process, not just about the result. It begins young. Research shows that children praised for being smart are often far less willing to take on a challenging task than those who are praised for trying hard. The lesson? We need to emphasize effort and deemphasize results. We can appreciate that we—and they—can’t be perfect, nor is it a goal we should aim for. And we should be careful of sending the contradictory message that it’s all right to make mistakes but not where it counts. We’ve learned that mistakes aren’t usually the fault of one bad apple, but far more often are caused by latent problems that a blatant error can bring to light. If we focus on the superficial error without doing the harder—yet ultimately more profitable—work of examining what led to the blunder, we don’t learn the lessons mistakes can teach us. In writing this book, I’ve discovered that everything hinges on communication. Giving and receiving criticism and negative feedback, as well as apologizing and accepting apologies, are difficult to do in a way that encourages rather than shuts down the conversation. I’ve tried to convey to readers just how they can approach this tough but ultimately fruitful process. Research has shown us that there are tools we can use—all of us, from parents to teachers to doctors to pilots to CEOs—to help us communicate far more successfully. Improved communication can lead to mistakes being a source of education, not of shame. And it can ultimately improve our work and our relationships with our bosses, spouses, and children. If we can forgive ours and others’ errors—if we can put in our best effort, but at the same time acknowledge that perfection is a myth—then we’re on the right track. ------------------------------------------------ About the Author Alina Tugend writes the the award-winning biweekly column “ShortCuts” for the New York Times, and a parenting column for Worth magazine. She was born and raised in Southern California and spent seven years in London before moving to Larchmont, New York, with her husband and two sons.
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